Okay real talk- how many times have you gotten exciting news and immediately thought, ‘I probably shouldn’t share this right now’? Or downplayed something you worked really hard for because you didn’t want to seem like you were bragging?
Yeah. Same. And here’s the thing: we’ve been conditioned to think that’s humility. That playing small is somehow considerate or kind. But it’s actually the opposite.
The Myth of ‘Not Wanting to Be Too Much’
There’s this unspoken rule a lot of us absorbed growing up- don’t take up too much space, don’t make it about you, don’t outshine people you care about. And while that sounds thoughtful, what it actually creates is a watered-down version of you that nobody gets to fully know or connect with.
Making yourself small doesn’t protect anyone. It just means your friends are in a relationship with the edited, dimmed-down, more ‘palatable’ version of you. That’s not connection. That’s a performance.
✨ Humble is knowing you’re not better than anyone. Small is pretending you’re less than you are. One is healthy. One is self-betrayal.
Your Shine Doesn’t Dim Anyone Else’s
Here’s the real plot twist: when you show up fully- celebrating your wins, sharing your excitement, taking up space- you actually give everyone around you permission to do the same. Your light doesn’t compete with anyone else’s. It expands what’s possible for the whole group.
Think about the most magnetic people you know. The ones who are fully themselves, unapologetically. Don’t they make you want to be more you? That’s what your full presence does for your friends.
The Hidden Cost of Constant Self-Erasure
When you continuously suppress your needs, hide your wins, and edit your personality, something sneaky happens — resentment builds. And the worst part? The people around you don’t even know why you’re resentful, because they didn’t even know you were sacrificing in the first place.
They can’t celebrate what you never shared. They can’t support what you never voiced. They can’t know the real you if you never show them.Your Weekly Challenge
Find one specific way you’ve been making yourself small – maybe it’s deflecting compliments, never sharing when you’re struggling, or always deferring to what everyone else wants. This week, do the opposite. Share the win. Voice the need. Take the space.
Notice what actually happens. Spoiler: it’s probably not as scary as your brain made it seem. 👑